Canada Sucks: I Hate this Goddamn Weather

canada-weather-y-u-so-shitty

Yes, it’s finally happened.


I’m actually sick -_- It started on sunday with a headache and muscle pain that just didn’t end and yesterday climaxed into a full out flu, the kind where you just want to lie in bed with your cat all day except you actually have a lot of work to do but don’t feel like doing any of it because your head is so stuffed and you can’t really function properly and then you feel terrible because this isn’t high school anymore and your teacher won’t accept your not having done any work because you couldn’t move all day without a doctor’s note and so you actually have to try getting homework done but you just can’t and it creates a vicious spiral of suck.

The flu season starts around mid fall and continues until the spring, when everything is damp and mildewy again and not quite cold enough to wear a winter jacket but also not warm enough to run around outside naked. The worst part is that everyone gets sick and because everyone is sick we don’t take measure to stop other people from getting sick. Like when parents let their sickly children out of the house. I can’t handle being near sick infants. Their propensity to illness makes me nervous and then I blame the parents for being negligent and end up glaring at them and they already look exhausted enough, they don’t need me heaping more judgement on them. But I do it anyway because they are, in my opinion, one of the leading factors in the flu season. Just leave your children at home! Get a flu shot and babysit your kids.

(Speaking of the flu shot, there is a misconception surrounding it. It’s for the so-called “stomach flu” also known as Gastroenteritis and sometimes as The Gastro (dread) and is in fact not caused by the flu virus. #themoreyouknow)

So there really isn’t a way to avoid getting the flu short of washing your hands every time you touch any surface or sanitizing your palms twenty thousand times a day and refraining from touching your face. Seriously, try not touching your face all day. It’s torture. But that’s how the virus is contracted and it’s ridiculously contagious. I didn’t even touch the person I contracted it from! Goddamn Canadian weather. If it’s not 95 degrees it’s below zero. As they say here in Quebec: we have two seasons; winter and construction. The weather here actually sucks. From october to december, it’s just a perpetual shade of gray until about 5:00pm. Then it’s just dark and even more depressing. Remember when the sun would be out until 8:30? Yeah, I don’t.

Oh my god, why are we still discussing homoeroticism in Twelfth Night?? I thought I left that behind in CEGEP. The relationship between Sebastian and Antonio is less than important. What about the fact that they’re in an environment where the aristocracy is so given over to their self-centered desires. They’re all weepy and mourning and sad and mirthless and blah. Why is it important if Antonio’s gay or if Duke Orsino has a weird thing for young boys? It doesn’t change the fact that this is a festive comedy and has important contextual notes which are much more interesting than a homoerotic analysis. Geez. There is a lot of ranting to be done on the topic, but I guess I’ll save it for class.

Anyway, people are getting sick left and center. It sucks and it’s gross, especially when you hear the hacking snarfles of people clearing their sinuses at the back of your english class-oh wait, that was me. Gross.

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