The Coffee House Quandary: Why Coffee Franchises Suck

Franchise: noun. ˈfranˌCHīz

“An authorization granted by a government or company to an individual or group enabling them to carry out specified commercial activities.”
Use it in a sentence: “I wasn’t ballsy enough to open my own coffee shop so instead I piggybacked off of a corporation and bought my own and tried to make it mine but it really just makes me look like a sellout. This is my franchise”

I attempted to write a rant against Starfucks the other day, but for some reason the force was not with me and I wrote no more than two badly-strung together sentences before giving up, not to mention I realized that no one wants to read a 1000 word rant and treatise against the scourge of Starbucks, no matter how fabulously wordy my sentences can get.

So, instead, I offer a plethora of franchised cafes and eateries who dare to call themselves Houses of Coffee that you should never walk into again. Allow me to begin with… Continue reading