Whenever I feel peckish, and if I happen to be on my way to The Boyfriend’s house, I may or may not decide to stop at Metro grocery store to ogle the multitude of snacks available to the unsuspecting consumer.
My favorite place to hunt for snacks is the organic/fair-trade/equitable/vegan/sunshine-shines-out-of-the-butts-of-those-who-shop-in-this-section/where-my-old-english-professors-who-are-married-shop section. There are some very exciting things! Like Popcorners and Aloe Vera water! And KIND bars! Wheeee!
There are lots of snackables available at pretty much every grocery store but Metro has the perk of being the only market to offer this product:
Now before you yawn and stop reading, HALT READER: these are not fried cheese puffs. These are de-moisturized, 100% crunchy, salty, weird AF bites of cheese.
Before I continue let’s just get one thing straight. I bought the Gouda moon cheese snacks and FYI MoonCheese! THIS IS NOT WHAT GOUDA TASTES LIKE. But honestly it doesn’t really matter because these are kind of weirdly delicious.
I cracked open the bag and peered inside. Lo and behold! Little balls of cheese vaguely reminiscent of the moon! They looked so heavy and deep fried! But alas dear reader, these cheese balls are so much more than we as a meek and clueless society of consumption can comprehend. THESE BALLS OF CHEESE ARE BEYOND YOUR COMPREHENSION. I mean sure, the consistency matched neither the taste nor the way they looked and furthermore they tasted nothing like real Gouda but goddamn these are addictive.
I had half of one. Then I had the other half. Then I had a nibble of another. And another, and so on and so forth until the bag was GONE!
I’m kidding. Can you imagine how sickening that would be? These things are actual cheese. If you’re going carb and/or gluten free, these are not a bad snack. It’s actually very hard to eat more than the serving suggestion in one sitting because you’re essentially munching crunchy, dried out cheese. They’re fatty, incredibly salty, and not as digestible as say, a bag of chips. Or a bag of Popcorners for that matter. Popcorners are delicious…