I Made the Pilgrimage to Niagara Falls; This is what I Learned

You know, it’s kind of funny how un-Canadian Quebec is compared to the rest of the country. I decided that, since I am obviously a crazy globetrotter, it was time to check out some of the not-so-hidden gems that Canada had to offer.  You can find my travel blog from my journey to Prince Edward Island here, but stick around for some of the things I learned on my weekend pilgrimage to Niagara Falls–12,000 years of water cascading between Canada and the United States. Sounds exciting right?

Wheee!
Wheee!

Here’s what I discovered:

  1. Aside from the obvious, that Niagara Falls is a thing of beauty that needs to be visited at least once in your lifetime.
    Clifton Hill kind of makes you forget that this place is one of the wonders of the world.
    Clifton Hill kind of makes you forget that this place is one of the wonders of the world.
    And then you remember that not 100 feet away, the Canadian Tourist Association (or whatever it's called) decided that the falls weren't amazing enough; they needed to be fucking FABULOUS.
    And then you remember that the Canadian Tourist Association (or whatever it’s called) decided that the falls weren’t amazing enough; they needed to be fucking FABULOUS.

    IMG_7131

  2. People think it’s normal to park on the sidewalk.
  3. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, owns a motorcycle. You can hear them being raced down the street every few minutes, which is ironic because…
  4. …People in Niagara Falls drive so. damn. carefully. They will stop at a stop sign before you’ve even gotten to the corner of the street. They will slow down so that you can waltz through a red light! THEY’RE JUST SO NICE, OKAY?
  5. No one hangs out “downtown”.

    IMG_6933
    Innit loverly?
  6. Probably because most of the stores “downtown” are abandoned/boarded up/closed for the season/destroyed by fire/gone fishing.IMG_6938
  7. But the truth is that this town is so damn small that people are on first name terms with their bus drivers, and are quite possibly neighbors and distract them by bringing them doughnuts even though they’re on the clock and supposed to be bringing tourists to Clifton Hill, which they pass right by without telling them.
  8. Despite this being the ultra Canadian town, the only Tim Hortons was in the ultra-touristy part of the city. To be fair, it was giant. Possibly the biggest Timmies I’ve seen.
  9. Clifton Hill is the Las Vegas of Canada. It’s crap-tastic and shiny and insane.

    IMG_7212
    And scary as hell.
  10. If you’re looking for interesting food, you’ve come to the wrong place. If, however, you’re looking for interesting burgers, they’ve got you covered.

    Mmmm...bacon cheezbrgr...
    Mmmm…bacon cheezbrgr…
  11. Portions are either enormous…

    Double patty action at Jeffro's grill
    Double patty action at Jeffro’s grill
  12. …Or unbelievably small.

    12041715_10207747541545352_556600161_n
    Needless to say, The Boyfriend was quite the disappointed camper. Avoid Coffee Culture.
  13. And, despite the name, there are no bars on Bender Hill.
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